4 Month Surgi-versary!

Today makes 4 months since I had weight loss surgery! Now for anyone who didn't read my earlier entries, I'll make another statistics breakdown for you to date.

Highest recorded weight 356 lbs 2018

Starting weight 336 lbs (November 2018)

Surgery weight (morning of surgery 5/17/19) 307 lbs

Current weight at 4 months post surgery 242 lbs

I have lost 114 pounds from my highest recorded weight.

I have lost 93 pounds from my starting weight.

I have lost 65 pounds since surgery day.

My "average" or "healthy" weight for my height and age is around 175 pounds, which means I am about 67 pounds away from my "goal'" weight!!

When I tell you that this is the most surreal and amazing feeling in the world, I mean when I wake up in the morning, I go get on the scale to make sure my last weigh in wasn't just a dream. Every time I walk past my half length mirror in my room, I stop to make sure I am still as small as I was the last time I walked in front of it. Every time I see my reflection in any surface, I find myself thanking God that He has helped me keep the faith and strength to keep exercising and keep making healthy eating choices. I have honestly never felt a feeling like this in my life. It's like every where I go, I see myself differently. Every thing I do, I feel more confident. Everyone I see, I give the biggest smile because I am truly happy!

If anyone is trying to loose weight and you just feel like you never see any progress, or like you aren't getting anything accomplished when you are in the gym every day or walking everyday...I want to encourage you to please don't quit! Keep going, keep believing change will come, keep the positive words in your heart and send the negative down the drain! That is the worst feeling in the world, to feel like everyone sees you as a size and not a person. Or they see you as what you "can't do" rather than what you have to offer. I personally hate that feeling honestly. I hate being judged before someone ever gives me the chance to introduce myself. I hate being looked at like I'm a zoo attraction anytime I'm out with my husband and seeing people look at my husband and wonder what he's doing with "someone like me". Believe me, I've seen all the looks, I've heard all the whispers, I've even had family talk about me behind my back but at the end of the day, you're only hurting yourself if you let it get to you. People are hateful, and spiteful, and rude, and just downright mean sometimes. If I've learned anything while going through this time in my life it's that you don't owe anyone an explanation of your life!! You don't have to answer to anyone on this earth, especially those who look at you like you're beneath them, or who exclude you from things because they are ashamed to be seen with you! The only person you'll ever have to answer to is God Himself and keep in mind, how you respond to those looks and whispers will make a huge difference!

I've felt it all; the shame, the embarrassment, the guilt, the depression, the anger and rage, the sadness, the hostility, the anxiety, the frustration, the need to be included, the hurt from being excluded...the list could go on and on! But let me tell you this, the feeling that came over me when I gave all those feelings over to God, is unexplainable! It's indescribable! It's unimaginable! I feel a wholeness that wasn't there before, I feel a completeness that wasn't fathomable before, I feel an overwhelming abundance of joy and love for and from everyone! I feel like a ray of sunshine just suddenly shone through a 27 year thunder and lightning storm that was my life as an overweight person.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE IN GOD'S OWN IMAGE!!

Much love y'all! Until next time,

Kay

YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON, NOT A SIZE!