But Wait, I Can Explain...

Let me start this entry off by saying thank you to all my followers and friends for always being here. Thank you for allowing me to vent on occasion and also, for caring! From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

It was the 16th of December and our little family was planning to spend our Christmas break in our own home, with our own little family, with as little stress as possible. Late that evening, my husband gets a phone call saying his mom is in ICU in critical condition. Now, I'll spare y'all all the details and such but long story short is, we need to get to Mississippi and FAST!! Fast forward to the evening of the 17th and we are talking with the Red Cross to find a way to get us home as quickly as possible.

Now, it is the morning of the 18th and we're flying to Mississippi. We get there and go check in at the hospital and take care of all that business and go to his house to settle our things in for the night, We have eaten nothing but airport and USO food (USO was great, airport...not so much) since lunch on the 17th. We got some things to make a decent meal for dinner and tried to figure out a way to continue our health routine (working out, running, and eating many small healthy meals each day).

We're now 3 days in and can hardly tell day from night for rushing around here and there. We go out to our local area and try to find a gym to workout in while we are down for the holidays but the first couple of days brings no luck. We find one CrossFit gym to hang out in but that turned out to be a bust with terrible misunderstanding (don't ask). After that first weekend, the only exercise we ended up completing is 2 classes at the CrossFit gym and walking around the hospital...NOT enough to get me to Onederland by the first of the year. Don't even get me started on our diet... We basically did the worst thing imaginable to ourselves. We skipped breakfast, ate a late lunch and ate dinner pretty much right before bed. I will admit, most of it just happened and really couldn't be helped given the situation..but it still hurt us and set us back none the less.

Fast forward to the Monday before Christmas and we finally find a gym to hang out in until we head back to Washington. It is a GREAT community with a great structure to keep us on track during our leave. We enjoyed that very much, however, our diet never got better as we weren't able to go buy all new groceries to stock the house for our family of 6 on a whim so we had to deal with what was available. Then there's Christmas dinners....with both families....in the south!! Enough said about that! I did pretty good as far as sweets goes, I had a bite if my 3 year old's pumpkin pie and that was all I ate aside from turkey, ham, eggs, and green bean casserole (don't judge me lol).

As far as my mother-in-law's health, she was released and able to come home on Christmas Eve. Very thankful for that!!

I know its bad to say, but after she came home and we weren't worried too much anymore, we were ready to get back home. We love our families so very much but it is so tiring trying to plan time to see this person and that person and these people and those people... Its exhausting honestly. We left Mississippi to come back to Washington on Jan 1st and had our Christmas here in Washington (Santa Claus came here) on Jan 2nd. We spent that weekend trying to get rested and relaxed to start back going to work and school on Monday (today).

In all the rukus and all the fuss, I sadly announce, I did not make it to Onederland before Jan 1st. I somewhat attribute it to all the stress and traveling and lack of structured stability there like we have here..but inevitably, it is my own fault. I let myself down and I let y'all down. BUT....

I will not stay down, no not me! I have learned how to forgive myself and move forward with my goals. If I sit and dwell on what I wanted to happen, I will stay here and never move forward in my journey. Its okay to be upset, its okay to be angry at the circumstances, its okay to fail! What is NOT okay is to let that one failure determine your success or to let it define who you are!! YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE just because you didn't accomplish one goal. Let go and move on, try again, set another goal. That's exactly what I did.

Before we left for Mississippi, I was weighing 209 pounds and I had vowed to weigh 199 before Jan 1st, 2020.

Today, Jan 6th I weighed 201.9 so its just a matter of time before I get there and I'm 100% okay with that. Yes, I wanted to start out this new year under 200 pounds, but you know what? Sometimes the plans you think are most important to you are not the plans most important to God! Everything will happen on HIS time in HIS way and you have to be able to accept that!!

I hope, in some way, I can be an inspiration to someone who needs to hear these words God has placed on my heart in these entries. If just one person reads one sentence and thinks "maybe I should forgive myself and move on" or "maybe I am expecting MY plans to be priority when it should be HIS plans and HIS will" then I will have accomplished what I set out to do! I will still continue to post and update y'all on my entire journey and its not even close to being over! I encourage y'all to uplift each other! We as women tear each other down way too often and criticize each other based off the most minute things such as their size, their hair, their clothes, and other dumb things..

This message is to all the mean girls out there:

WHEN YOUR EARTHLY LIFE IS OVER AND YOU GET TO WHERE YOU'RE GOING ON THE OTHER SIDE (I HOPE ITS HEAVEN) YOU WON'T HAVE BETTER HAIR THAN EVERYONE ESLE, OR BETTER CLOTHES, OR BETTER CARS, HOUSES, JEWELRY, NOTHING!! THOSE THINGS DON'T MATTER TO THE HEAVENLY FATHER, THEY SHOULDN'T MATTER HERE. NOW!

We are the only thing we have on this earth! We have each other and we are COMMANDED to love each other as God loves us and that's what I intend to do, what about you??

Much love y'all, Until next time!!