What'd You Just Say To Me?

Accountability. Some people take it as exactly what it is.. someone who cares about you trying to keep you on track with the things YOU set for yourself. Me on the other hand, for as long as I can remember, when it comes to my weight I take it as unconstructive criticism. I take it in the worst possible way someone could possibly mean it. Especially my poor husband (I really do love you babe).. He tries to be gentle and find the right words to check and see if I met my own goals for the day and the worst part is, when I get the maddest is always when 'something came up' and I didn't do everything I had planned or said I wanted to do. If I met my goal, I'm usually the first one to congratulate myself (in a non selfish or bragging way of course) by looking in the mirror and telling myself 'you did it! you did what you set out to do, nice job'. So why can't I be okay with other people doing the same thing? I don't react to receiving gifts very well, I don't handle compliments well, and for some reason, I have no problem giving either of those things away. Idk if it's because of the way I guard myself from hurtful comments about my weight by developing into an introvert or what but that is one of the things I definitely intend on working on!!

Sometimes, I truly think it's the timing that hurts the most. People outside of my house like my mama and daddy and my sister, obviously don't know what I'm doing before they contact me. They know there is a 2 hour time difference between us (it's 2 hours earlier in WA than in MS) but they couldn't possibly know what I'm doing. So what right would I have to get upset when I get a text message saying "hey, have you eaten today, are you drinking enough water? (Just for example sis, I love your check ins) or when my mama calls during dinner and I answer because we've been playing phone tag all afternoon and I haven't talked to her in weeks? NONE!! I have no right to get upset, but sometimes, if I woke up in a mood (y'all girls know what I'm talking about) then I get upset over every little nothing. Another thing I should work on asap!

I have expressed to the 2 people who are closest on this journey with me, how much it means to me that they are resilient about checking up on me! In the 37 days since my surgery, and probably the week before too cause I was being a baby about that liquid diet y'all, not one single day passed that my big sister didn't text me to at least see how I was feeling. It was all day conversations most days but some days I slept a lot so she just waited for my reply.. That's love y'all! Then there's my husband.. God bless him. He took a whole week off to be with me and take care of the house while I was down (literally wasn't allowed to do anything!) and this man, who HATES doing laundry btw, folded so many clothes every single day until there was nothing left to fold. He cooked every night, helped our 12 year old clean up the kitchen (it's her chore to clean up after dinner), even helped me in and out of bed every single night and every morning (you have no idea how hard it is to get in a tall bed until the ability to use your core and abdominal muscles is taken away)! That's love y'all! My mama works 6 days a week sun up to after sundown most days so she checks in every chance she gets and my daddy... well let's just say he's a bit old fashioned and he just waits for me to reach out to him so he knows I'm able to talk then lol. I can't thank the good Lord enough for blessing me with this amazing circle of family and friends. I just hope someday, I'm able to reach someone in a time of need whether it be a stranger or family member. I hope my journey and my story will someday inspire someone to change their life for the better and give them hope and let them know they are not alone!

Anyway, I'll take a break for now and see what kind of recipes I can find in my collection to share with y'all! Be on the lookout for new stuff on the website, Facebook and Instagram!!!

Much love y'all! Until next time,

Kay